How to Choose a Mentor

A mentor is someone who out of his experience guides or advises others. Mentorship focuses on the holistic development of someone less experienced. In mentorship age is not a factor but experience and trust is important. In ancient time the crowned prince that is the king to be, would be subject to teachers who help them to frame their unique philosophy of rulership.

But do I need a mentor?

A mentor is needed if you desire to go far in life and make a difference with less hassle. A mentor listens to you without castigation, they become an extra eye and brain with an unbiased opinion, a stimulating push for your dreams- walking you through difficult times, makes you wiser by sharing experiences, life coach by keeping tab on your progress and time, opener of new horizon and opportunities. The benefits of having a good mentor are enormous.

Jesus saw the importance of mentorship and he went on to call the twelve to perpetuate a generational transfer of the His transforming message. His invitation extends to everyone but He relied on the conviction of each individual to come to Him.

Matt 11:28

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Let me use the above bible quote in paraphrase to say some vital facts about mentorship: The first point in mentorship is the mentor and mentee agreeing to come together towards achieving the desired goal of guidance, the mentee goes to the mentor for something. If there is refusal from any end nothing will work in the relationship. You see why Jesus’ mentorship programme started with an invitation “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened”

 Jesus said and I will give you rest:  He gives it because He has it. So the mentor should have something the mentee desires and be able to guide the mentee into rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me: To take up the yoke of the mentor is to be subject to training and discipline to learn the rudiments of success from the mentor. This is very vital. It is enhanced by a mentor who is meek and humble enough to be trusted in guiding an inexperienced fellow. So Jesus said for I am gentle and humble in heart.

Then He said, “And you will find rest for your souls.” It means that the mentee on their part ought to cooperate with the mentor to find the desired success themselves. Now because the mentor has had the experience and exposure it becomes light for him and for the mentee who does not need to learn it the hard way. By this you will understand why Jesus said, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

In our discussion today we will be focusing on how to choose a mentor. By the way it is advisable to have more than one mentor for certain areas of your life that you may need guidance and cannot get it from one individual. Or you can have a mentor and several advisers. There are people who succeeded without having a clear cut out mentorship arrangement but mentorship came in a way through what I call micro mentorship consultations through advice from people and consultation of materials like books. Having seen the importance of mentorship let’s look at how to choose a mentor.

1. Have a clear goal of what you want and desire: Yes it starts from you
2. Look out for someone you can be comfortable with and has the kind of traits or qualities you admire and would want to emulate: It is important that you are comfortable with the style and manners of your mentor so there won’t be dissonance.
3. It is also appropriate to have more than one mentor because there are many facets of your life that may be attended to differently.
4. There is a natural and exciting connection to the one that would be your mentor. From your contact with the person the ease in communicating, the willingness to listen and the excitement that follows are key pointers to a true mentor. Their words sets you on fire, it rebukes, corrects and excites you at the same time. It is this interest and openness that makes the relationship to last.
5. The Approach: When you are clear about these points make a move to speak to the would be mentor. Telling them your desire, interest, the quality you admire in them and if they would make out time to mentor you. You can offer suggestions how it may be like and allow them to decide and set the pace according to their time. In some cases you can warm up to a person in a friendly way and keeping the relationship slightly informal or in a business, it is still important to let the person know that you see them as a mentor as this will set the stage for what is to be expected and given. 
6. Take note that it is not right for you to demand more than the mentor can offer like taking their time, seeking financial help from them, being late to meetings, hoarding information and castigating them. Remember they are not perfect and so have their weaknesses.
7. It would be wonderful to find how you can be useful to your mentor to make it a symbiotic relationship and a show of appreciation is very important. Showing your appreciation and progress gives your mentor a sense of fulfilment and purpose.

See you next time with the Champions Diet of the Champions of Destiny Foundation. God bless you.

Sam Attu