Navigating the layers of relationships

Prov 27:17

 Iron sharpeneth iron;

so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof:

so he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured.

It is important to realise that God made us for relationship. Most things that God gives come through men. It is like this, God is the source, and man is the instrument. You may not like the personality of a person, that should not stop you from being humble to learn and receive your divine gifts through them.

This is episode 2 titled

NAVIGATING THE LAYERS OF RELATIONSHIPS

We stated in the last class that the degree of ‘understanding and flow in communication’ is what often results into various layers of relationship. Therefore, we have family relationship, romantic relationship, friends’ relationship, acquaintance relationship.

Every relationship has what I will call layers. The layers we will give in this episode are designed to cover almost all forms of relationships.

1. Acquaintance: This layer is a general basic relationship to people you just say hello to and proceed. It is very easy to start, just open your mouth to greet. Make it a point to be the first to greet. It is noble and comes through as humility. This will foster basic relationship. Colleagues fall here

2. Recognition and attraction: Here the feeling of friendship begins. You begin to feel important or you consider the other person important. Things about the person interest you more and you begin to single the person out from others. Here strengthening communication and giving honest compliment is very important. Also, up your features that may interest the other person. You’ll find most lustful relationships stock here

3. Discovery or honeymoon stage: At this stage, you begin to feel the person’s impact due to increase in closeness or exposure to the person’s materials. You feel the person talks to you, listens to you and understands you, which is a good thing. At this stage, open your heart to enjoy all you can and keep all pleasant memories. Here you should endeavour to learn much about the person and establish communication. Due to the comradery you will discover much about the person that will lead to acceptance or disappointment. It is also vice versa. Most romantic relationship remain here

4.  Acceptance or Disappointment stage: Here you feel the person affirms and encourages you. In addition, you would have learnt some unpleasant things and engaged in some disagreement, which were ignored initially. So you get so disappointed. Relationships may end here or lead to tolerance and acceptance based on the level of understanding and communication. Most Family relationship is here

5. Stability and commitment stage: Here you have come to tolerate and accept the weaknesses of the significant other and you can enjoy their strength the more. This is true love. You value the person and it is important the person value you too. The relationship is stable by loyalty and value. It may be maintained here or progress into a lasting bond engendering trust and commitment. Here You can find real friendship or partnership in business or marriage

To navigate through in a relationship it is only proper to give what you expect. Things like active listening, trust, loyalty, love, optimism, bringing out the best in the other etc. guarantees progress in relationship. And if what is expected is not coming do not be disappointed because humans are dynamic and difficult to deal with. My advice is that you should state your expectation and the benefit to both parties clearly. Then after a while, you can evaluate and re-strategise.

This is important because there is the possibility of being drained in a relationship. It is a give and take contract. What do you give in a relationship? Are you giving emptiness or something of value? Because however it is you are giving something often in the form of a signal. The value of your gift is judged not by you but by the receiver. Therefore, get to know what the person consider valuable in that layer of relationship.

As one layer builds into another, they are in a straight jacketed order because relationship is not a science, it is an art. So you can learn to navigate and get the best of all relationships as take control of your auto pilot relationship. This will be the focus of the next episode. See you then.

 This is Sam-Attu with CoD giving wings to your dreams